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Santa’s Self-Help Guide to Creating Your CV Infographic
Santa’s Self-Help Guide to Creating Your CV Infographic
Some jobs are big. Huge. When you have a C-Level leadership role with global responsibility, how do you even begin to sum up what it is that you do? The Santa’s Self-Help Guide to Creating Your CV Infographic presents what Santa would write on his CV and will help you write your own.
How to create a CV that is poles apart
1. Use a dashing headline to lead the way
e.g. Global Supply Chain Leader
2. Present a perfect profile to show you are the real deal
e.g. An iconic supply chain leader who has created and maintained a global brand, achieving a timeless monopoly on the manufacture and distribution of festive toys and cheer. Masterminds a complex and demanding supply chain across 24+ time zones, meeting rather challenging deadlines. Multilingual, with a proven ability to communicate and influence at all levels. At ease, whether leading multiaspecies teams, influencing recipients’ behaviour, or enchanting children and parents with jolly dimples and twinkling eyes.
3. Add a sackful of skills to show you are a heavyweight contender
- Global logistics and Distribution
- Production Planning
- Remote Behaviour Management
- Personal Brand Management
- Naughty and Nice Analysis
- Inventory Control
- Team Leadership/Training
- Fleet Management
- Santa Sigma Black Belt Certified
4. Add sparkle to your experience with glittering achiviemets
- Built the reputation of a toy manufacturing and distribution operation to achieve global brand recognition.
- Performance management of a multi-species team encompassing elves, reindeer, and human lookalikes to produce and deliver toys and gifts in line with recipients’ needs’.
- Speed reading over 300 million Christmas lists as sent up the chimney or posted to the North Pole on an annual basis.
- Free-of-charge remote behaviour monitoring and disciplinary support, enabling parents to outline unspeakable consequences for bad behaviour during the festive season.
- Promoting health and safety compliance to achieve zero recordable incidents over four countries.
- Planning and managing an intensive delivery schedule across 24+ time zones, meeting non-negotiable SLAs.
- Driving and motivating eight flying reindeer to pull a heavy-laden sleigh over 25,000 miles in one stint.
- Managing on-time delivery to over 80 million homes across the South Pacific, New Zealand, Australia, Japan, Asia, Africa, Western Europe, Canada, the United States, Mexico, Central and South America.
- Appointing specialist reindeer to guide the sleigh at speed through adverse weather conditions including fog, rain and high winds, maintaining an estimated speed of 650 miles per second.
- Overcoming claus-trophobia to squeeze down sooty chimneys, deploying a magical key to unlock doors in modem homes.
- Adopting a stoic Santa v Food approach to consume festive treats including sherry, mulled
Wine, mince pies, biscuits, chocolate, and sometimes even carrots (if the reindeer have overdone it…). - Ensuring consistent brand representation (white whiskers, red attire, black boots, cherry nose, etc.) across the lookalike team to keep children’s belief alive.
5. Signpost your ‘noel-edge’ through education and professional training
- Lean Santa Sigma Black Belt – International Association of Santa Sigma Certification (IASSC)
- Master of Bringing Annually (MBA) – Lapland School of Christmas (LSC)
- BSc (Hons) Geography- University of the North Pole
- BA Modern Languages – Saint Nicholas Institute of Modern Languages
6. Build engagement with some extra socking fillers
Memberships
- The Chartered Institute of Long-Distance Travel and Toy Manufacture (CILT)
- Languages All modern and ancient languages
Licences
- Heavy Goods Sleigh (HGS) Licence
Interests
- Dashing Through the Snow
- Laughing This Way: HO HO HO
- Kissing Mommy
- Stealth and Subterfuge
- Drinking Coca-Cola
- Time Travel
- Coming to Town
Published Papers
- ‘The development of Global Present Sleigh (GPS) tracking by NORAD: Protecting the mystery with precision, cloaked navigation solutions’, The International and Temporal Business Journal
Via: www.giraffecvs.co.uk